Judgement or Perception we all do it!

Have you ever thought about how you perceive people? Have you ever thought you might be wrong? We all do it.  Get a glimpse of a portion of someone's life  and then form an opinion based on incomplete facts.  I wish I could say that I have never done this, but I have. Being the one the assumptions are made about has really brought this to my attention and made me see more clearly how wrong you can be when you don't have all the facts. Let me explain.

Last year we went to a school function and they needed clean up afterwards. Mark and Cole jumped in and were helping out and I quietly sat out of the way. Wishing I could do something. The looks I started getting from people, I would have to describe them as uncomfortable. This went on for quite a while. Then some people started making comments. Things like, many hands make light work and with all this help will be done in no time, you get the gist. Boy did this make me feel guilty for not being a part of the clean up. A friend of mine noticed how uncomfortable the situation was making me and suggested we go sit somewhere else.   We talked about how people didn't realize that it wasn't that I didn't want to help it was that I couldn't. If you are not paying attention I look fine. So these people were forming opinions on their perception of me. A healthy looking, forty something mother sitting around while her family and everyone else was jumping in to do clean up.  I felt like I needed a sign.   I would love to help but I have major joint issues.  
I also noticed when I first started using store scooters I was amazed by the looks people gave me and the way they cut me off in the aisles.  I attributed it to society and the way so many of us think only of ourselves. It wasn't till I started using my own power chair, then it really came to light because people where much more respectful standing back to make sure I had plenty of room and no more strange looks. So when people saw a power chair that looks kind of like a wheel chair.  It was all OK because i must really need it.  

I was talking with a good friend about this and she told me of her own experience where she was impatiently waiting in the car while a friend ran into a store.  A family parked in a handicap space next to her and started to walk into the store. The father suddenly turned around, walked back to the car, got his cane, and gave my friend an incredibly nasty look. She was shocked at first, not understanding his anger at her. She quickly realized that he had interpreted her impatience with her friend as judgement of him parking in a handicap space when he had no obvious handicap. In reality, she hadn't even realized it was a handicap space! But his expectation and sensitivity to being judged caused him to interpret the situation incorrectly. Ironically, he was doing the exact thing that he resented - judging without knowing the facts.

So we as a culture make assumptions about people on perception not on all the facts.  We all need to work to change the way we think.  To not read to much into a situation, to not make assumptions on a snap shot.  To to be more accepting to be more generous with our thoughts.  

Thanks for listening.